Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Get Happy!!

I know what everybody thinks when they click on that ever-important "Literary Slumber" bookmark, when they take that deep, oceanic breath as they select the one blog on this world wide intranet worth the time to sit next to, pet, and share a coffee with- what's with the sad bitchy shit? What's with this kid telling us about his dead baby and failed engagement all the time? Why is this kid always bringing us down?

My answer, as the primary spokesman for the
Literary Slumber franchise, is given in the form of a TOP X LIST (pronounced 'TOP SOMETHING LIST'). This list doesn't have numbers, it doesn't have topics, it doesn't limit your thinking and reading to the number 5, or any particular category. I'm not going to site here and type up movie titles for you people (I love Manhattan, check it out), or album titles (King Of America could be the greatest record ever), or conjure up images of foods (cheesecake) using my words of color.

I'm going to sit back, sip on my stolen Icee, think real hard... and list things I like.

And you...

Well, you're going to navigate the links provided, and share the joy of things that are good with your fellow
Literary Slumber fans. The countless readers (fuck off Google Analytics, you can't judge the excitement of the page views and visitors) and numerous nodders have been waiting for this, and I have finally given you all the list you desire.



x . ) Boone's Farm
(see 'x . ) Steel Reserve 211')

x . ) Jim & Them (
Some people are just funnier than the remainders. There are human beings who can bounce off one another with the wit and humor that the rest of those on this Earth experiment just can't replicate, and sometimes can't understand. These people are Jim, Jake, and Brandon. Finally African Americans have somebody to look up to, and try to assassinate. Try it.

x . ) Elvis Costello (
He isn't human, at least his brain and voice aren't. Lets all sit here on the world universe web and pretend that anybody else could've even dreamed of releasing an album on par with Brutal Youth, then we can make believe that This Year's Model, Armed Forces, King Of America, and The Delivery Man don't make E.C. better than whatever name we came up with. Second place for the opposition every time. I'm requesting a band besides Squeeze release an album better than Elvis's worst.

x . ) Arrested Development
Michael Bluthe is the father I will strive to mimic. Sure, he doesn't listen- but he loves that damn kid. I am finally doing the 'Season Three Laydown', watching it all the way through in the position of a 180 degree single guy, and I'm enjoying every lonely moment. I give it five x list (something list) stars.

x . ) Clark & Michael (

x . ) The Beatles.
Talk about underrated. Have you really listened to Let It Be? Didn't think so. Do you dig a pony? Do you have a feeling? Do you one after 909? I don't care if your answer is 'Yes' or 'No', my responce is: Then listen to the naked version of this album.

x . ) Steel Reserve 211
Drink a tall can, then write your own paragraph.

x . ) Starvation.
Just lose weight.

x . ) This video.

I have no explanation or reason for digging this montrosity. It makes me laugh. I even commented on the damn thing. Speed alteration is the new HIV for we comedic needle sharers.

Keep in mind, this is a tentative list. I might not even like these things in a few hours- I may even post an anti-x (anti-something) list in the morning (I work overnights, my morning is your night). But right now, at this important second- the only moment that will carry this very second- these are the things that you and I adore. I love you for sharing this with me, and I hope that we can live long time together.

Literary Slumber.

1 comment:

JimandThem said...

I love these
(fucking blogger wont let me embed in comments)

HardKore Max

Genius guy ruins Second Life for everyone

Add to Technorati Favorites