Xmas.

Christmas is the greatest time of every year, and my soundtrack to the annual holiday is "Imperial Bedroom". It has been since 2003.



And... the We Hit & Run Christmas Special.

Izzy,

The Apple-Mantini Video

Visit the visual section on http://wehitandrun.info to view a promo video for the Apple-Mantini Challenge.

Youtube version:



funnyordie (vote funny!):

The Apple-Mantini Masterpiece.

* The Appletini Shootoff: Anthony Saunders (c) defends his Real Kid Radio drinking championship against first mic Kevin Scampoli in a ten-cup, Apple Martini shootoff.

* Somewhere In The World: This Brandon Chaney trademark returns to We Hit & Run. The world is giant, the world is huge... and everything is happening at any moment. We are here to prove it to you.

* Mysterious Noise!, Soo Woo!, John Madden!, CB Radio!, Jim And Them!, Apple Martinis!, Real Kid Radio Party!

* Listen live and interact with the show every week on Talk Shoe.

* Subscribe via iTunes.
* Subscribe without iTunes.

Big Event Tonight...

Tonight on Talk Shoe every show on Real Kid Radio will be recording. Everyone is invited, especially ex pillhead/dead beat dads.

And what's this? A new promo for We Hit & Run.

I like pie.

The Flight Of The Conchords can put me in a good mood in the same way that both Scrubs and Ron & Fez used to do. These days, I've overwatched Scrubs, and Ron & Fez seems to bring me down every time I listen to it.

The series was just released on DVD (It's 19.99 everywhere else, I just figured a Wal-Mart link would be humorous), and will be 50% off on Black Friday. Though we still have it on our DVR, there is no question that this DVD needs to be purchased.

When attempting to describe the show/band to other people, the easy way for me is to ask... "You ever hear Tenacious D?" The two bands are very different, metal and folk rap aren't exactly sister-genres, but it atleast paints the picture that this statement can finish for them: "Well it's like that, only they're from New Zealand."

A guitar hero.

Yes, he plays the guitar OVER HIS HEAD.

I just contacted those very talented boys about playing a weekly event Real Kid Radio plans on throwing at the Freakin' Frog.

10/29/2007 - Dallas.

• The Love Triangle: Leading up to the great Appletini Shoot-Off between challenger Kevin Scampoli and champion Anthony Saunders- We Hit & Run welcome into the studio a very special female guest. She is the woman that Anthony stole from Kevin, she is a leggy blonde, she is Dallas.
• Sid & Them: We Hit & Run conquer the ever-humiliating topics of self-sucking and bodily fluids, with an emphasis on 'WHAT WOULD YOU DO'. Also: how many stars is The Olive Garden?
• Jim's Movie/TV/Comic Book Game Show!, Round Robin!, Your Greatest Comeback!, Ricky!, Talk Shoe!, Sex!, Hideout!
• Join us live next week on Talk Shoe and interact!
  
• http://wehitandrun.info
• http://www.myspace.com/realkidradio
  
• Subscribe via iTunes.
• Subscribe without iTunes.

So you knock the kids about a bit because they've got your name.

Schmegma.

10/22/2007 - Schmegma.


* Shots Til Ya Drop Aftermath: There is a new champion, the second mic/chair is up in the air, and We Hit & Run is cruising through the second half of their greatest month of shows to date.

* Movie Review: There's an unhappy host in the studio after he was forced to sit through a particularly awful film produced by those filthy rich fellows at Happy Madison.

* Kevin Joins eHarmony: We Hit & Run reviews and grades his personality profile.

* Anthony's new opponent: He's known as the Town Drunk, he's known as the Dean Dawg, and he dethroned the great Sid Joe Avitia, convincingly, in the fabled Shots Til Ya Drop contest. Who will be next to challenge Anthony Saunders? What will be the stipulations? It is all revealed on this episode of We Hit & Run.

* Michael Cera!, Round Robin!, Sid & Them!, Improv!, Dallas!, Schmegma!, Appletinis!

* Join us live next week on Talk Shoe and interact!

* http://wehitandrun.info
* http://www.myspace.com/realkidradio

* Subscribe via iTunes.
* Subscribe without iTunes.

Mayo Challenge / Shots Til Ya Drop Videos

Visit the visual section on http://wehitandrun.info to view the videos from We Hit & Run's two latest stunts.

The Mayo Challenge:


Shots Til Ya Drop:

Shots Til Ya Drop?

Also, Shots Til Ya Drop turned out great.
I get the idea that my new pill-head audience will love it.

Subscribe to WHAR.

Anxiety.

It's really hard to find any sort of happiness right now, whether it be immediate or in the visible future. I just keep thinking that everything will be fine after I suffer the next twelve, eighteen, or however many months... then I remind myself of every awful, yet easy scenario that could land me in jail. It's just an uncanny thought.

Then there is the resurfacing of feelings I thought I had successfully buried and left for dead.

Somehow in this situation, even the simple request of "keeping full time employment" applies so much pressure. I work at a place where hard workers are suddenly fired, a company that is known as a villain in World Trade. I've experienced a lot of success there, but it seems as though I'll be in better shape if I just blend in.

So right now it's The Flight Of The Conchords replacing Scrubs, and I'm in nearly the same position, emotionally, I was in May or June. Only now I have a financially-destructive and physically draining/sleepless uphill battle ahead of me- on top of the typical shit.

I couldn't even get myself excited to do the show last night. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to anybody, and talking on the show is supposed to be what I want to do more than anything.

I remember writing some pathetic journal entry called 'Pain' a few months ago in the black book. Though I won't publish anything that embarrassing, I'll at least say that this is a familiar feeling.

my weekly statement shi'.

Let us entertain you.

I am the world's greatest anti-hero.

Tomorrow morning I will have the book thrown at me. If I don't update, that means I've been given four years in jail.

WHAR UPDATE: he has made me black

'He Has Made Me Black.'

• 60 In 30! - It has been weeks in the making, Anthony Saunders of CB Radio fame attempts to pull off a power hour in half of the typically allotted time. Can he handle the beer? Is he the alcohol drinker that Kevin hypes him up to be?
• Pyramid Schemist - We've all been approached by the natural born sales-people, those with their incredible opportunities reserved just for you. "Make as much money as you want!" Listen to how We Hit & Run handles these charismatic tools.
  
• Round Robin!, The First Ever In-Studio BJ!, Talk Shoe!, Eating Challenges!, New Release Schedule!, Hippest Culture?!, Randal2k!
  
• Listen to the recording of next week's We Hit & Run live! Click here to interact with the show and the listeners!
• http://wehitandrun.info
• http://www.myspace.com/realkidradio
• Subscribe via iTunes.
• Subscribe without iTunes.
  

Daryl Palumbo Appreciation

He's the hardest working musician in the world... and does he even know it?

Daryl's masterpiece.

A subjective call... but my pick has been consistent since the moment I first heard those beautiful, oriental licks.

Daryl's unexpected cult hit.


Daryl's rock single template.


Daryl does Elvis (C, the real King).

With that statement, I am referring to the entire Popaganda album.

Daryl does drugs?!

Famed for his straight edge roots, Daryl shocked the hardcore pussies by tainting the three x's tattooed on his inner bottom lip. All that really matters is... when do we get the House Of Blow record?

Daryl records vocals.


Daryl hates women.

Some of the greatest ad-libbing since the recording of Thriller.

Young Daryl.

Look at that 18 year old kid.

Daryl does Hip Hop.

The song is "Shoot Frank" - Cage. "Shoot Frank" was initially rumored to be a side project for yet another Palumbo group.

EGYPTIAN MUSK...

... EGYPTIAN MUSK.

Just one for the road...

Pyramid Schemist / First Radio BJs

• Here to wipe the taste of war out of your mouth, left by the negative, argumentative We Hit & Run release this past week- Sid & Kevin present you with a brand new slab of comedy cut directly from next week's steak.
  
• Don't forget to check back this Wednesday, as the most important We Hit & Run of the Fall is released. There are two major announcements, as well as the long-awaited 60-IN-30 feat attempted by Anthony Saunders.
• http://wehitandrun.info
• http://www.myspace.com/realkidradio
  
• Subscribe via iTunes.
• Subscribe without iTunes.
  

The Real Kid Radio Community

We have it set up so that listeners of Real Kid Radio can interact with eachother and the respective shows during the recording sessions of each show.

The Process:

1.) Click here for REAL KID RADIO on Talk Shoe!

2.) Take note of the scheduled recordings.

3.) Arrive during said recordings.

4.) Listen, comment, call (using computer microphone or telephone), interact with the show and listeners.

5.) DIGG us.

newenglandfailed

There's a good chance that Ricky LaCapria, who is pound-for-pound the best friend I've ever had, will be coming to join us here on Chilly Pond.

Rosemary.

Rosemary would be a day old, today!
Well, that's if my motherly intuition was a good estimator.

Jim got in a car accident yesterday. He's okay, but the vehicle will most likely not survive. If were in the Cavalier, without the door/rear airbags, he could've been seriously injured. Two vehicles simultaneously smashed into him on the 215. The family will be down a car once again... but that seems more manageable this time around, considering I work overnights, and the third worker of the house isn't legally allowed to drive.

Tonight is our fantasy football draft, and then we're recording a super-sized We Hit & Run.

I realized I haven't really plugged this on here- so check out the Real Kid Radio Children's Show we recorded a couple of weeks ago. And yes, subscribe and all that our the site- http://wehitandrun.info.

People have demanded that I write in Literary Slumber. There's not much to type, since I talk about everything on the show.

I have been nicknamed 'Superman' at work, and though I love being named after a Bowie song... I have begun a campaign to be called Master Chief.

We Hit & Run is going great, hitting a stride I would say. We surpassed 500 downloads, and finally got a couple of haters- which is the first step towards more lovers. Next has been playing our promos every week. It's a nice feeling to have one of your favorite radio shows support you.

As mentioned in the show, Storm has made a few attempts at contact. Well, I'm not going to risk carpal tunnel and type an explanation for not reciprocating them. Just read your own blog, and your mother's. All of the answers are there. No, you didn't ruin my life. You've simply exhausted your existence in it, and tormented a few months of it. A small percentage. You cannot say what you said, wrote what you wrote, and do what you did- then tell me it wasn't intentional, or that you care about or miss me. Enough blaming your mother, or her mother, or whomever or whatever you were going to shift the hate towards. Take responsibility. You've done awful things. Now you want to get over it... again? You are married, turn to your partner. I haven't even been sentenced yet and I'm receiving apologies.

That's all I will write on the subject. Though I guarantee it will not be all that I say on it.

Eh, now look, I don't feel like typing a blog entry anymore.

Remember this morning?:

Success.

• I got a fan email today! I'm already buying my own hype over here.
• Somebody in this house made the accidental purchase of PRISON JUICE.
• Three incredible mics + headphones will be arriving on 8/30, just in time for the new show.
• BOWIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
• Clip show ... whar.info ... Subscribe via iTunes ... Subscribe w/o iTunes
  

Thrown away life, pyscho.

It feels great to say that she's looking... grotesque.

Sid and I weren't too far off with the bigface-fatface assessment.

Who would've thought that my novel was already a Bowie song?

STARMAN.

Three new mics, three new sets of headphones, and three longer microphone cables have just shipped for the studio. Here's the one I'm looking forward to using:

This Wednesday will be a clip show for WHAR... however, I am very proud of it. I love the editing, and it contains what I consider to be our funniest segments. So, if you haven't checked out the show yet, I suggest clicking the link below. Plus, you get it four days before the subscribers...

WHAR 08292007 Clip Show

We will be debuting the new mics and headphones on next week's show.
And ofcourse, the new website:

http://www.wehitandrun.info

In other news... what happens when we die?

http://www.wehitandrun.info

http://www.wehitandrun.info

This is how Real Kid Radio ends a party:



http://www.wehitandrun.info

I'm much too fast to take that test.

Looking at the radio show images, for me, seems like I'm spying on myself. Gary The Intern takes them during the show, and due to the obvious responsibilities, I never notice him holding up his camera. They are the only pictures where I am smiling.

I just released the podcast preview for this Wednesday's show, featuring Jim & Them and the long awaited drink-off/pose-off between Jake & Sid. We also appeared on Jim & Them's show, and they were recorded back-to-back... yet each show still sounds completely different. Jim & Them sounds like Jim & Them, We Hit & Run sounds like We Hit & Run. I really think that says a lot for Real Kid Radio.

When I Was Cruel.

I have made the switch back from the grandiose royal bedroom to my original, bachelor pad bedroom. The big room is our new studio, providing a much better and less claustrophobic atmosphere for the underpaid performers.

It was a bitter-sweet transition.

I am excited for the ch-ch-change, but there were many artifacts in the house-cracks that would've been better left unremembered. Well, I suppose they are best thrown in the garbage..

For those of you who haven't subscribed to my weekly podcast, We Hit & Run, please do so below (I've provided a link for those of you who are not iTunes users):

Subscribe to We Hit & Run without iTunes.

Subscribe to We Hit & Run via iTunes.


The latest broadcast does cross that awkward, uncomfortable line. It's a cringe-worthy event that should not go unheard.

Tomorrow we are christening the new studio with a Real Kid Radio bash, an extravaganza featuring the members of We Hit And Run, Jim And Them, and special guests. It'll also include the long awaited drink-off/pose-off between Sid and Jake. TUNE IN. SUBSCRIBE.

Old Grey Whistle Test.

I've decided to throw together an Old Grey Whistle Test medley for you wonderful human beings. Check out tomorrow's We Hit & Run, as well- it features a disgruntled Sid throwing down a microphone and walking out of the studio. An event that couldn't have been any less planned, and couldn't of made for better radio.

Oh, and subscribe on iTunes for more exclusive, free content.


Old Grey Whistle Test Videos!

David Bowie - Oh! You Pretty Things

This is an alternate take that never made the broadcast. I liked his vocal better on this edition. The song speaks for itself, my praise will only prove redundant after you watch the video.


Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Uncomplicated

I've been waiting for somebody to reupload this video for many months. I had a high quality version of this a few years ago, which mysteriously disappeared sometime around my move to Vegas. Uncomplicated is the opening track on Blood & Chocolate (his first 'last album with the Attractions'), one that has definitely grown on me over the years. This is around the time he wanted to kick the 'E.C.' gimmick- yet his glasses are bigger than ever.


John Lennon - Stand By Me

I'm shocked he isn't chewing gum during this performance.


The Specials - Stupid Marriage

The best Specials song? I love the harmonies, and especially the lyrics and beautiful song title. The album version is a lot better, and more theatrical- complete with a very ethnic judge. This video is really just a small clip of the ending. It begins and ends with Squeeze's organist- Jools with his odd, alien-like voice, t interviewing the Specials' lead singer.


Robert Wyatt - Shipbuilding

Written by Elvis Costello- a lot of people claim that Robert Wyatt's rendition of Shipbuilding blows the original out of the water. I strongly disagree, though I adore the frailty of his voice. I consider Robert Wyatt the opposite of Tom Waits- both on adjacent ends of the same depressed, romantic spectrum.


The Talking Heads - Psycho Killer

Any other Talking Heads song would not be in this blog entry. I got into this band during my last week living at Sara's- I took a particular liking to this one for many, obvious reasons.



http://kevinscampoli.info

Elvis Is King.

Contact me if you need my number.

I've got a feeling.

Official iTunes Page.

The Buzz.

This is our counter attack.

BOWIE TO BOWIE

I have decided to release the latest WH&R a day early for the Literary Slumber crowd. It's possibly my favorite show to date. The levels need to be fixed a bit, as Sid was noticeable low in the mix down- but otherwise I am very happy with it.

Right click to save, left click to listen in browser -

WH&R Aug. 1, 2007 - 'This is our counterattack.'

SUBSCRIBE THROUGH iTUNES!

I went to the courthouse today for my official plea, and I am feeling really good about everything. This'll significantly impact the next however many months of my life... but who is to say that its effect will be negative? Maybe staying here in Nevada with my family for a little longer isn't a bad idea, and the people I'll meet and the experiences I'll have (including those at the courthouse or probation office) along the way will be well worth it. Life is going on all the time, and I won't be here forever. All of our experiences equal who we are. It gets me out, and will result in Kevin Scampoli being an even more well rounded human being.

As a human being 'living' a life, the legal system is something everybody should experience. Considering my upbringing and everything about me as a person- I would have otherwise never have been found sitting in an Arraignment Courtroom A on the bottom floor of a courthouse. I strongly believe that this will be better for me, especially if I handle it as responsibly as I plan to.

This is all a result of being able to wake up and go to sleep.
To quote Ron Bennington- "FUCK IT!"
There's not enough time to complain.

I have a radio studio, a hilarious radio show, we are partnered with an even funnier radio show- and together we provide the programming for my own radio station. Is this not my dream? I love sitting here laughing at my own bits.

"Fuck It!" - Ronnie B.

I am an island, like Dr. Cox, like Will Lightman.
I dreamt up my perfect woman the other night, with the perfect meeting. I hardly remember it, except that a ladder was involved, so I can't help but assume it was inspired by John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

Idealising is a flaw, now? I found my ideal musician (voice), my ideal comedian (delivery)- I will find my ideal woman. And I will sing this song to her.

Still, I'm an island. So until then I will stomp my feet, sing this song, and make this facial expression...

I return to the court house today. Listen to the new WH&R on Real Kid Radio, or download it Wednesday. The show has nearly replaced this blog- especially since I can't tear up Sylvia Plath books on here.

Kiss my teeth.

• We Hit & Run had the week of 7/25 off, due to an ill Sid and a studio in need of repairs. HOWEVER, those of you who subscribe to the iTunes podcast, or keep up with the Myspace are treated to some WH&R goodies. Check out this special edition of a podcast to hear a bit gone horribly wrong- resulting in Sid and Kevin making a drastic decision.

• The We Hit & Run Podcast special- available here in mp3 format. Click here to subscribe to our iTunes podcast.
  

The NACH-AH BOY.

The Best Website

http://www.kevinscampoli.info -
Complete radio show mp3s, personal links.

in Websight.

Burden of the welfare state.

That song has been stuck in my head for four months. I call it 'the dodged bullet track'.

I'm Your Man.

The music of Leonard Cohen and the voice of Kevin Scampoli appeared on Ron & Fez today.

Man over woman.

So don't confuse why we put you here
Or your automation for individuality
A notch on my belt is how you shall exist
A notch on my bedpost is how you shall exist
And no more no less for the common good
That's you, american womanhood "

Beginning to end-
the most important video on the internet.

I'll hold my child's head underwater
If it's a boy, I was joking
If it's a daughter,
I'll say I did what I did because I had to
And if you find my kid later tell her I laughed too "

- g

Orgasms.

I had sexual intercourse with a Suicide Girl the other night.

Not throwing stones at you, anymore...

This isnt a character defamation, the accused actions and lies have all been admitted to, and the parts that are opinion are completely obvious. This is only a character defamation if her actions made it so, Im simply the required messenger.

On the other hand- her words are complete character defamation. Claims of being 'beaten' and 'hit in the face'- utterly untrue and ridiculous. One of us was punched, kicked, and attacked- it wasn't her. Ms. Anti-Violence struck me many times that week, and topped it all off with her flailing screams on the final morning.

We talked about the 'lost wedding ring' (it wasn't), the 'paycheck that wasn't picked up' (it was), the 'miscarriage'(it was an abortion), the many times you physically attacked me, and

Yet I'm the bad guy.

What did I lie about? When did I ever strike you? Was it between waking up at 6am to drive you to your hero of a grandmother's storage room to save your belongings from her drunkardness and blowing over 1500$ on your thrift store habits/pregnancy cravings? Where's my restitution?

And now you say that I attempted to meet you for sex recently? How fucking insane are you? If I ever use the phrase "Get through to our cars"- then please, throw me to the ground twice and strike me upon the head and body and break my goddamn collarbone.

Keep painting the pictures on your public journal- of happy marriages and surviving abuse, they're about as believable as the awful sketches I found on my top shelf, and in turn disposed of. I am every villain from any Samuel L Jackson film- whether it be the oddly-shaped head of S.L.J from Unbreakable, or the afore-mentioned Black Snake Moan abuser (we all know what happened in that theatre). I know the 'truth' behind your happy marriage is written on scattered private journals, and proof of them remains here.

You wanted Angelo to marry you.
You wanted Daniel to marry you. ("He said 'I Love You,' This man is a God.")
You wanted me to marry you.

You told Angelo -

"I'm impatient and will end up marrying a psycho."

Well, somebody married a psycho, that's for sure.

The only explanation I can fathom for you continuing to believe the claim that I struck you on that morning- is that you truly do not remember, just as you told me you didn't. This wasn't a game, it wasn't about winning and losing- it's about what happened, and the difference between reality and your molded mythical boxing story.

"Get your things, dont come back."
"I'll be back after the orientation to get my stuff."
"If you come here I'll call the cops."
"Good, maybe they will take Anchor out of this mess."

That's when you sprung from the couch and attacked me. And yes, you did strike my mother as she held your screaming, frightened child- who was experiencing yet another spastic-freak-out from his mother. You did throw a black shoe that barely missed all three of us and bounced off the door. You were screaming in a rage, and you did kick and punch me.

I did not kick, punch, or throw anything at you. I didn't even raise my voice.

There's a reason why I was greeted by "Come in, I know my sister is a psycho." And there's a reason our OB-GYN recommended you to a psychiatrist, and there's a reason behind the scars on your legs and your unbelievably fake-sounding cry.

I'm sick of pretending that the aborted fetus was mine, when it was weeks older than the night we met. I'm sick of pretending that you weren't talking to Michael on the porch when you thought I was asleep, the night before you fucked up again.I'm sick of pretending you didn't cheat on that weekend we broke up, when your vag' had dilated at least 3 inches by the time we got back together. And I'm sick of you pretending you are a victim.

Perhaps, most of all, I'm sick of you pretending you're a writer. You didn't even know what a sonnet was before I met you. Your journals and poems are cliche jargon, wordy for the sake of being wordy, pure nonsense. Your writing would be better suited under the pen of your gothic sister.

Here's an example of a Storm-written sentence, completed off the top of my head:

"The rain drops contained no emotion,
and plunged into the dirt without a care for the night's eyes."

I gave you too much credit with that line break. Pre-teenage, black eye-liner poetry.

There was a time during the first month of the relationship, right after I heard about the 'knocked up' situation, where I replayed a quote from Scrubs over and over in my head in order to respond to the baffled world's question:

"She's pregnant? She wants to marry you? What're you going to do?"
"I guess I just have to spend the rest of my life with her."

When I made that answer, I was a defeated man.
When I plead guilty yesterday morning, I was given a second chance.
You're finally out of my life.

There are two statements I live by,

1. I would rather be found guilty knowing I didn't do it, than get off having done it.
2. A year and a half of probation is well worth not marrying you.
   

As far as an unhappy relationship, only one of us had to ask this question:

"Why doesn't my vagina make you cum anymore?"

My answer to that question was a lie, by the way.

I'm glad you're happy with how you look, and convinced yourself you're the 'skinniest you've ever been'. My father honestly asked the question, "Is that your's?"

Your marriage is a result of you two having a conversation about me, because you were on my side of town. And now, you're married to some 30 year old attempting to raise an overweight, neglected kid (the kid and the 30 year old appear to be the same age). Nice life.

Stay out of mine, you're the biggest three mistakes I ever made.



I'll be burning my Sylvia Plath books on the next We Hit & Run.

You're a woman, not a winner. That's important in the courtroom, ms 'women dont have rights'.

If you got something to say, say it here. Your journal is nonexistent.

Oh yeah, I got a promotion today.

Ching chong, was I speaking British?

My father moved out here.

As young as the station is, it appears as though a variation of Real Kid Radio will end up on California FM radio and Las Vegas AM radio sooner than later. This has nothing to do with my prior hopes of moving to Los Angeles- as that idea is no longer in the works.

Don't start me talkin', I could talk all night. Oliver's Army is here to stay.

Download the Century Club!

Direct Link to the We Hit & Run Century Club show - click here!

We Hit & Run will release two versions of their show every week, every Wednesday. There will be a shortened, Podcast release that will be widely available to download by anybody on the internet- meanwhile, the original, uncut episode will air exclusively on Real Kid Radio.