Close it.

I get a jolt of excitement doing math again. This probably won't last.

I'm doing the same thing after Hannah that I did after both Storm and Sha- I'm back into the educational system groove, filling notebooks with equations and making "plans".

I hope this time they stick. I feel like they will. After Sha I did obtain the GED (in the top 2 percent!), but I also legally had to.

After researching salaries and orientations and placement tests and TEAS'es, I feel like this is legitimate. It's something that I really want to do this time. I'm accepting the end of WHAR (atleast in some form, a form I hoped it would be), and laying down concrete plans.

I'm also suppressing feelings that I am annoyed at myself for feeling. Regardless of what the Hannah thing was or is, the ending won't ever really set right with me. Not that it ever does. Closure never really exists. But it just shows a real weakness that was in our relationship that I assumed wasn't there. Well, a weakness on her end that I assumed wasn't there. It could be because I farted in my sleep, or maybe the estrogen thing really was permanent. It was a communicational breakdown on her end, followed by a basic realization that Kevin Scampoli isn't everything she ever looked for in a guy.

I'm just tired of hearing unrequested reassurance from people how they're not "this person", then they just become "that person". You make your own decisions, you choose your own words. BE HONEST. I didn't ask that you say the words you said, you dove right the fuck in on your own.

I always felt guilty for looking at certain girls and wishing I looked at my girlfriend a similar way. But I never attempted to produce a creation for certain girls.

(http://wehitandrun.info/kimyaangel2.mp3)
And I know you wanna teach
And I know I didn't graduate
But I'll meet you half way
And drop out when you need to read
(http://wehitandrun.info/kimyaangel2.mp3)

That would've been good!!!!!! I still might finish it. Atleast now it wont be repetitive.

I've got a lot to do before April 1st. It's a limited entry program, but I can even the odds with community service and good TEAS scores. If I don't get accepted, I can get the generals out of the way, and those will earn me even more points for the following year. Once I finish this, I'll be able to move to any neighborhood I want to in the USA.