Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I hear the bells...

Music: "Let It Be... Naked" - The Beatles

Scrubs has been a very important part of my last three or four years. There have been many weeks' weekends spent watching full seasons in consecutive hours- exposing new viewers and sometimes just to satisfy a personal need or create an escape.

This season continued Scrubs' trend in running directly parallel with life's misfortunes. John Dorian's pregnancy related issues, along with Elliott's marriage and the effects these character's issues have on one another has been all too easy to relate to. The difference? These characters are doctors, these characters are thirty years old. My position contains a few more problems as pertains to having children and getting married.

That's what really gets me. How serious was I?

It is a bit frightening to think about how close I came.

Now, make no mistake about it- marriage is never the correct decision. That is a belief I will forever stand behind, now with complete confidence. Feminists should really take a look at the marriage laws before they go complaining and not wearing bras over their rights. Hell, they might want to read over the entire justice system. It's a woman's court-room. You want the workplace? Well, for one, you already got it. But in return lets give the other gender equal rights, legally. The prenuptial agreement exists for a reason- and it's all we have, and remains the only thing that might get me to walk the aisle.

Have I ever loved? The above paragraph would lead anyone to believe I have never experienced the feeling. I don't believe I have. I've been engaged.

The entire concept of 'not enough time passing' works both ways, as feelings continue to exist on each extreme side of the emotional spectrum. However, even living through it, even saying the words... the doubt was there. Depending on who you talk to that could be completely natural, especially given the age. Given the age the words might mean that much more, as they are said against the powerful current that is everyone else's opinion (which may even be the reason behind the doubt). It can be interpreted any number of ways.

I do know that it would have been a mistake. This is not to say I have any regrets.

It also depends on what time you ask me, or what journal you read. I've felt enough pain to say I've loved, but I'm not sure I've experienced enough love to say it. I also have an oddly scientific belief that love cannot exist without reciprocation- as an electric current cannot exist without two sources. You really need to be given love (notice I didn't say 'accept') to feel, return it (the 'accepting' is part of the giving).

I really am full of excitement as pertains to this subject, it's not all "fuck marriage, blahhblah". I anticipate the future because of this subject. I cannot wait to meet new people, to ruin some lives and have my life left in shambles once again. This is why we're alive. Everyone should spend time in jail, and everyone should cheat on a significant other with that lucky person's best friend or sibling.

Just live your life, pick one out of the bunch, and die drinking a glass of chai tea they made for you.

Oh, and laugh a little bit.


Anonymous said...

hey remember that time me and kate drove all the way to your house and you slammed the door because you were busy watching scrubs?

you were such an ass, but scrubs is an amazing show, so i understand kinda. ha.


Kevin said...

Ha, I vaguely remember this. Did I cave and come out? Was I wearing scrubs while watching it?

Anonymous said...

no, we just left and now that i think about it, you might have been wearing scrubs at the time. or maybe it was just pj's


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