Metaphor.

Logan (the dog) escaped the house two nights ago, and we nearly gave up all hope on his first night here. I found him prancing around the mailboxes, avoiding the loud, open garages.

We have no idea how long he's been on the streets. He barked today when he needed to go out back for bathroom time, which is a sign of domestication. However, he was tagless, collarless, and still has his balls. 

He warmed up very quickly, but is still holding a slight grudge against me for the bath I gave him yesterday, and the little tennis balls that I toss at him (that he's scared to death of). The signs of abuse outweigh the signs of domestication.

Listen to my An Hour Of Nonsense appearance here for some dating game setup/fat face stories. 

C-section scar. I call it my scar. 

... plus...

Mrs. Cavities.

 ... plus... 

I'm an ass-eater, Krystal's friends! 

... plus... 

And I've cried in two women's arms,  so I'm in touch with my emotions.

... plus...

I've squeezed a baby's balls...

     -- "Close the closet!" --

... well it was in the closet.

It's a good flow of consciousness. The dating game segment is this Sunday, I'm the bachelor.

Also, look what the nice folks over at theoandvirus.com did for me...

... look who we found wandering the dark streets of sin city.

Older.

I might have to take this back to the LJ.

There are some great stories on there. While prepping and brainstorming for this Lo-Fidelity project, I was reading the Alyce Packard entries. Why did I have to annoy the shit out of that girl for years? I remember at one point I was trying to rebuild a civil relationship with her from Vegas, and her responce was

Are you dying?

I almost pulled it off before ruining it on We Hit & Run. Which, ultimately, I consider worth it. Now there are people who have sent out ALYCE PACKARD tweets based on this sounder. She is going to think I am the ultimate creep when she hears that I'm recording L-F(well, that can be said about every name involved).

It's still worth it.

Super Sonic Philosophy.

There are times these days when I catch myself thinking like those teenage livejournal entries I used to laugh at on my friends list.

I was ready to type "things aren't going very well right now".

Then, I was going to type "things are going great these days, job show etc etc etc".

Maybe I can find something in between to type.

Well, on paper, shit's going great. I have no legitimate worries. I have MANY illegitimate worries, like death. I guess that's a good sign, when a guy's biggest problem is his mortality, and whether or not he should continue eating pot brownies, and that he doesn't feel like working in the morning, and that his internet is being a cunt, and how he can't finish live without becoming famous.

I got the storm on the brain again. What is that? I just cursed out my own mother on mother's day for not getting over some jailbird from two years ago. Now I'm a jailbird with the same mental faults. Well, she is my mother, maybe I can credit her for these faults. Yes! Shift the blame.

It is beyond logic to the point that I cannot say things like "Things should've...", because how things are is how they should be. This is proper, obeying incompatibility.

I straight out lied when I texted her last month.

The best I can describe it is (well, on LO FIDELITY, but that shit's later) a feeling of missing her... figure? Well, I can't explain it. It's not lustful, and it's not a relationship thing either.

Back to the "Maybe I can find something in between to type."

Pretty soon I will have real problems in my life, I swear.

Work is going great. We "super maxxed" in all of the categories this first quarter, so we're getting a big bonus this month.

I am very excited for the Palm Pre.

Jim and I need to get an apt like back on Tropicana.

Sleestalk talked about me this week -- http://wehitandrun.info/0510%20-%20sleestalk%20whar%20talk.mp3

He's right on with his podcast rant at the end. I feel like if we were musicians or stand up comics Real Kid Radio would be considered a lot more important. We would be the Kid Cudi/Charles Hamilton/Wale/Asher Roth group.

Someday, most likely when radio dies, podcasting will be important. But what happens then is the hacks that killed radio immediately take control of podcasting, and the highest downloaded 'cast is a MORNING ZOOcast. All of the internet radio stations will all of a sudden be represented by numbers. "COMEDYPIPE 10007.5"

Or maybe all of the WHAR archives will become important too?

The Boss.

http://www.wehitandrun.info --
http://www.realkidradio.com --

We Hit & Run - 05/09/2009 - Honey, Where 'Da Roof?

• Scarecrow's Survival: Scarecrow, after entering the studio like a mumbling heroin addict, drops MULTIPLE bombshells at the start of the show. His personal life, at the absolute worst time possible, is changing greatly and rapidly. Bombshells aside- Can he remain in Vegas? Does he have a job?

• Science Of Decapitation: Russian scientists in the 1940s removed a dog's head and mechanically kept it alive- reacting to light, sound, and touch. Does this refute the concept of a soul? Can we, as humans, grow to create a digital afterlife? See the accompanying video here.

• "The Marine": Kevin, earning multiple new nicknames, challenges himself to the marine test that listener Mitch failed in real life. Also on this week;s We Hit & Run- Mitch's first appearance since the weeks of drama involving his name.

Tono Rondone!, Literary Douche!, Rick Ross!, The Boss!, Energy Drink Suicide!, Connie Culp!, Mitch!, Kib!, Point Shaving!, Shitty Philosophy!, "What Is Gonvernment?", Word!, What Is The Opposite Of Fish?, Binary Thought!, Introverted/Inverted Vaginas!, Animal Instinct vs. Intelligence!, Sexual Turn Off!, Mafia Music!, Three!, "What Is Time?", Ex Felon Job Help!

Listen to We Hit & Run LIVE every Saturday Night on Real Kid Radio!

call-in: (866) RKR SHIT

Sign up for the Real Kid Radio FORUMS here!

Or get yourself a free WHAR Subscription:

• Subscribe via iTunes.
• Subscribe without iTunes.
• Subscribe via Email.

Lo(w) Fidelity.

ap intro... rough stuff // I like the "Lo-Fidelity" spelling a little better. It's a perfect excuse in case somebody doesn't like the production.

It's my only one.

There is something wrong here.

BUT, it's fair. I understand. People have lives to live, and I am not a helper.

I'm working on a new series. I feel like We Hit & Run is going away. It's hard to say that I'm losing interest in it, because that is not the case. It's a "do whatever you want" format, it's impossible to lose interest in. But I want a "do this" format.

"The Low Fidelity Series."

I'm not sure how many chapters will exist, but it starts with "Chapter 1 - Alyce Packard", and ends with "Chapter (X) - Sara Taylor". It's not in chronological order, but there's something about the AP story that I feel will work perfectly for the first show. 

I am really happy with the production thus far. I want this series to be the greatest thing I'll ever do. It has nothing to do with slandering the names involved, and the person who will suffer most from the storytelling is me (not because I hate reliving it- obviously- but because of my exposed nuances). The chapters will be shorter, maybe even 15-20 minutes each, and production heavy. I want it to be like a one man show meets audiobook meets radio.

I have a sense of urgency in life (as evidenced by the common theme in my recent entries). I don't want to write about it, just as I don't want to talk about it- because it creates an illusion of not thinking about it. I am consumed, saddened, and just want to sit down with everyone that has ever meant something to me. Ofcourse, these things are not possible, so I'll craft a web series instead.

Still fantasize.

Boogie Nights.

The Coward Brothers - "Presented By..." from Kevin Scampoli on Vimeo.