Hallelujah II.

Mama cu sa.

Michael Jackson memories range my entire life, from carrying that garbage Dangerous album around on a portable karoake machine when I was six, to singing "Wanna Be Startin' Something" as pillow talk to Alyce Packard.



I remember living at 3500 when M.J. turned into an ice breaker for Anthony Saunders and I. I remember dedicating "PYT" to Alyce the first time we ever hung out as my attempt to "WOO" her (and changing the lyrics so her name was in the hook DID IT).

I remember when I started the very first "REAL KID RADIO" live365 station, we had a Michael Jackson marathon to celebrate his acquittal.



I would "Youtube" this guy for hours, specifically putting in "1981" and "1987" for the Victory and Bad tours. His voice during the Bad tour was unbelievable, and he didn't lipsync a damn thing.

For all of the cheese, and tragedy, and the utter GARBAGE that came from his inspiration of 80s and 90s music- the guy means so much to so many people. His songs, though responsible for the crap that came later, were spectacular. Even if he himself didn't write his best tracks.

For reasons like that, I can't call him a genius (like so many are doing). But his voice was the second best I've ever heard, and his songs always seems to have been playing through major highlights of my life.

Here are some of the Michael Jackson moments on We Hit & Run that I could remember off the top of my head --

05/16/2008 -- Kevin Schools Shorty K on Michael Jackson --
01/17/2009 -- "Just A Little Bit Of..." Bit --
12/28/2008 -- MJ's Negative Effect + Death/Broke talk from December 2008 --
Oh yeah, my favorite MJ song? Wanna Be Startin' Something.

Lua.

I feel like things took an unexpected spike up with WHAR. Something about the download numbers, the messages I've been getting, and the quality of shows since 03/28.

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This birthday weekend was spectacular all around. Even Scarecrow expressed his satisfaction. The birthday get together wasn't as robust as this, but it was just as enjoyable.

Wow, looking back...

But, I think I'm going to turn cheese for my 21st birthday. There's just something about the number- legally, socially, and someday nostalgically. I want this year to mean something, more than the previous 20. I want to tell my future daughter about how I got my act together in 2007-2008, and finally began my life at the age of 21 (despite the fact that she'll be three years into her tenure as an outspoken Yale scholar).

What's that all about? I guess I can forgive myself, I didn't realize what my 21st year was actually going to consist of. That's my felon year, not my "LIFE IS NOW ROLLING" year. Then at the end of my 22nd year I gave up any care for the future and started writing about death.

Either that, ORRRR....

We Hit & Run becomes a career and  I cite my 21st year as the year I turned my life around by starting the show.

Scarecrow's comment on that post (long before he was a cohost, and long after he and I came up with the concept of a show)-

Tony said...

Happy Birthday to the better half of the future world's greatest radio show!

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Hannah leaves tomorrow. She gave me her fantastic bed, but when I went to pick it up with Brian it was a very odd/uncomfortable meeting. We both acknowledged it immediately after the fact. It wasn't anything about her and I, it was the addition of three people we know into what was before very private. Well, I assume that's what it was. I'm a generally uncomfortable person anyway.

Every video I've thought about embedding here seems too sentimental or not worth the time. So we'll leave it DRY!

Super Sonic Philosophy.

There are times these days when I catch myself thinking like those teenage livejournal entries I used to laugh at on my friends list.

I was ready to type "things aren't going very well right now".

Then, I was going to type "things are going great these days, job show etc etc etc".

Maybe I can find something in between to type.

Well, on paper, shit's going great. I have no legitimate worries. I have MANY illegitimate worries, like death. I guess that's a good sign, when a guy's biggest problem is his mortality, and whether or not he should continue eating pot brownies, and that he doesn't feel like working in the morning, and that his internet is being a cunt, and how he can't finish live without becoming famous.

I got the storm on the brain again. What is that? I just cursed out my own mother on mother's day for not getting over some jailbird from two years ago. Now I'm a jailbird with the same mental faults. Well, she is my mother, maybe I can credit her for these faults. Yes! Shift the blame.

It is beyond logic to the point that I cannot say things like "Things should've...", because how things are is how they should be. This is proper, obeying incompatibility.

I straight out lied when I texted her last month.

The best I can describe it is (well, on LO FIDELITY, but that shit's later) a feeling of missing her... figure? Well, I can't explain it. It's not lustful, and it's not a relationship thing either.

Back to the "Maybe I can find something in between to type."

Pretty soon I will have real problems in my life, I swear.

Work is going great. We "super maxxed" in all of the categories this first quarter, so we're getting a big bonus this month.

I am very excited for the Palm Pre.

Jim and I need to get an apt like back on Tropicana.

Sleestalk talked about me this week -- http://wehitandrun.info/0510%20-%20sleestalk%20whar%20talk.mp3

He's right on with his podcast rant at the end. I feel like if we were musicians or stand up comics Real Kid Radio would be considered a lot more important. We would be the Kid Cudi/Charles Hamilton/Wale/Asher Roth group.

Someday, most likely when radio dies, podcasting will be important. But what happens then is the hacks that killed radio immediately take control of podcasting, and the highest downloaded 'cast is a MORNING ZOOcast. All of the internet radio stations will all of a sudden be represented by numbers. "COMEDYPIPE 10007.5"

Or maybe all of the WHAR archives will become important too?

Not only is death anxiety real, but it is people's most profound source of concern. This anxiety is so intense that it generates many if not all of the specific fears and phobias people experience in everyday life. Fears of being alone or in a confined space, for example, are fears whose connections with death anxiety are relatively easy to trace, but so are the needs for bright lights and noise. It is more comfortable, more in keeping with one's self-image, to transform the underlying anxiety into a variety of smaller aversions.

According to Becker, much of people's daily behavior consists of attempts to deny death and thereby keep their basic anxiety under control. People would have a difficult time controlling their anxiety, though, if alarming realities continued to intrude and if they were exposed to brutal reminders of their vulnerability. Becker also suggested that this is where society plays its role. No function of society is more crucial than its strengthening of individual defenses against death anxiety. Becker's analysis of society convinced him that many beliefs and practices are in the service of death denial, that is, reducing the experience of anxiety. Funeral homes with their flowers and homilies, and the medical system with its evasions, are only among the more obvious societal elements that join with individuals to maintain the fiction that there is nothing to fear.

Die II.

So I'm surfing the internet, thinking about death, and this comes up...

Is there a less common word than hearst?

Die.

I love the guitar in this song.

Yes, I am reading articles that're coaching me on "the fear of death".

The past couple of days have been consumed by the thought. I've been analyzing it with every free moment. I can't get over the fact that everything is going to die.

All this negative focus leads to unhealthy consequences. An exaggerated fear of dying and phobias of growing old leads to a reluctance to make a will or make any plans for those we love whom we know will outlive us and a general ignorance of normal end of life options.

I've been asking everybody's opinion on death. I am basically a 12 year old.

I don't know what queued a sudden realization that darkness is coming. I'd rather not blame marijuana, because I'd like to believe it's a no-con pass time.

Find someone you trust, and tell them about your fear. Explain to them why you think you feel this way, and how long you've felt like this. Make sure it's someone you trust. It is recommended that you see a therapist if the phobia is extreme.

The only comfort I can find in the concept of dying is that George Carlin did it. It is an unescapeable event that even the people I respect most will also have to endure.

I understand the sillyness of an extreme fear of death, but I feel like mine is a rational one. It hasn't gotten to the point where every happy moment turns into "well I will still die"... yet, anyway.

There's even a couple of websites that want to exploit my fear for money or Jesus. And for that I give them an uncapitalized jesus.

However, right now we cannot do anything about dying, so there is no point fearing death itself. What kind of fear is useful?

Business Ethics.

"In The Company Of Men" is an inspirational film, and it'll bleed into tonight's ever-important WHAR. You're all encouraged to listen and call-in.

My next free check is in August, which makes that my new MA target date. If I save check-to-check, then top it off with that week, I'll have more than enough money to eat Papa Ginos for two weeks.

My grandmother is on her deathbed in her living room in Plymouth. There's a good (not a kind word in this context) chance that the Scampoli's will fly all of us out for the funeral. Which would make August what it was to me yesterday... an eternity away. Who has time to count months?

Netflix's Instant Queue does wonders for a man's mood.

Two for the money.

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